Edition 450 – You’re A Terrible Liar
It’s a Mum and Dad business. Both of them are in the room as we talk through some elements of their business strategy that we’ve been working through, this year.
We’re at a point in the conversation where something is said and, possibly, to keep the peace, Dad agrees to it. This is in relation to an issue where Dad has said quite strongly in the past, he doesn’t want to venture down that road. Yet, here we are, where Dad expresses agreement, and feigned interest.
“You’re a terrible liar”, says Mum to Dad. He looks at her, then me, and we all laugh heartily.
Mum called him out, straight away. Dad was agreeing to do something that only a few months back, he said he’d never do again. In this meeting, he’d got himself into the mindset of accepting a client, or a project, or the poor performance of a staff member, that only a short time back, he was saying he didn’t want to touch ever again.
We’ve set a course for the business and whilst the journey towards achieving that course has been difficult, and mentally challenging, it’s meant moving on from the mindset of accepting work, simply because it was offered to you. It’s not really in your wheelhouse, but you’ll do it anyway if for no reason that it brings a few extra dollars into the business.
In small and family business, we want people inside it, including family members, that are willing to:
- Challenge us.
- Hold up the mirror.
- Keep us accountable.
- Ensure we stick to the path that we’ve agreed upon for the business, so that it ultimately benefits the family.
In this situation, Dad was agreeing to something that he didn’t really want to do. It needed Mum, in the same room, at the same time, to say to him, “be authentic”. If you don’t want to do something, then don’t do it!
This is exactly one of the reasons why, when I work with small and family business, I want both spouses in the room. What you’re building for the business, should be for the future of your family. When one spouse, and it’s most often men, operate inside their business unchallenged, essentially in their own silo, they say “yes” to things purely for the motivation of money or ego – nothing else!
To achieve success in your small or family business, you need people around you that will course correct you, when the wind blows you off course. You want someone’s perspective, that makes you think what this means for the true owners of the business – the family – when you consider changing course.
Without that perspective, you might well be operating a successful business, but I’d question whether your family are invested in it, or even believe in it.
This Week’s Tip
“Listen to what select, trusted others have to say.
They have your best interests at heart, and often can see, what you can’t.”