Edition 534 – Joining The Dots

I’m at a conference on the Gold Coast recently. A two day event of consultants, from different disciplines and backgrounds. It’s boutique, in that there’s 50 in the room.

Day 2, Session 1 and a storied consultant, who I’d met just 24 hours beforehand, leads a session on failure. To be more specific, what’s one of your biggest failures in life, and what did you learn from it? It’s a quick session, 45 minutes in total, and at your table of six, you share your story in 1 minute. A vote then takes place, to proceed to the front of the room, to tell your story to everyone in attendance. It’s one of the few votes I’ve won in my lifetime.

My story is one about business failure. How 21 years ago, some poor decisions, and a heavy dose of hubris, almost scuttled our business. On a single day, I made a quarter of our workforce redundant. That was incredibly difficult, for you’re messing with people’s lives. But, oddly, it wasn’t the most difficult moment.

Five days beforehand, on a Saturday afternoon, whilst seated on a bench located outside our bedroom window, overlooking the beautiful garden of the dream home we’d moved into 8 months previously, and the day before our eldest son’s 9th birthday, I told my wife the hardest words I’ve ever spoken.

“I think we’ve lost the house”.

I felt a complete and utter failure. I’d let everyone down but most of all, my wife and our family.

So catastrophic was our situation in those moments, that the days were dark. The nights were darker. But somehow, we knuckled down, got through it, then rebuilt. Even our sons, then aged 9 and 6, pitched in. On Sundays, one vacuumed the office and the other emptied the bins at everyone’s desk. It was what it was.

Back on the Gold Coast, the young lady next to me is second to last in the queue. I’m last. Her’s is also a story of business failure. It’s emotional to listen to. You could hear a pin drop as she spoke.

Then, it’s my turn. When I relayed the words I’d said that afternoon to my wife, in the telling of my story, there was an audible gasp in the room. I not only heard it, but felt it. In that moment, I stood in solidarity with my new friend, as we’d bared our souls, all in the interests of learning and growing.

As I sat back down at the table after the session, I was shattered. 21 years later, it still sits heavy, even though I’ve forgiven myself for what happened. The forgiveness, however, didn’t come easily.

Then, it hits me! Why I do, what I do, with the people I do it with. Until that moment, I’d not made the connection.

It’s not all about money. When you’re in business for yourself, money is important, however it’s only a tool. Too many focus on the trinkets, the toys, that hard work and success brings. Beyond that, it seems it’s about “more”, whatever that happens to look like.

For me, there’s more to life. Like living a life. Taking time to travel. Spending moments with family. Being on my own, reading, listening to music, or firing up the 5.0 V8 and taking the last of Australia’s finest out for a spin.

Why are you doing what you do, and with whom you’re doing it? 

This Week’s Tip

“It’s not all about money”.