Edition 515 – Self Care

It’s been an interesting month or so since my mother passed away. Whilst we weren’t close, the only thing I can say is that it’s all been quite disorienting since that day back in late January. I’ll admit publicly that my brain has been a bit jumbled throughout that period, and the fatigue has been off the scale.

Not sleeping that well probably hasn’t helped. However, that’s come about as a result of playing over lots of things in my mind. Conversations that were never had. The back story to my life, that was never passed onto me. There’s a book about my life, that has 50 pages that are blank, or only partially complete.

One thing that has been confirmed, is what I’d heard from others, but not my own mother herself. She did arrive off the Qantas flight out of Auckland in September 1968 with a 6 month old baby in tow, not having informed her family back home of the excess baggage she was carrying, until they greeted her at Sydney Airport.

Throughout the past few weeks, I’ve had to prioritise self care for a number of reasons. However, the key one is, that I had an experience almost 20 years ago where I wasn’t so kind to myself, and eventually ended up falling in a heap, a couple of years later, when the rocks in my backpack proved too heavy to carry any longer.

I’m incredibly grateful to my wife for her support, love and simply just being there for me. As I am my clients, who have all been supportive when I’ve said I’ve just needed to dial back a little, as I process things.

What this past few weeks has also shown me are the people in my orbit, who I can plainly see, are not investing in self care. They’re pedal to the metal, in all aspects of their life, and in the process, I wonder how close they are to breaking point.

Like business owner #1 who juggles lots of roles – a parent to young children, adult child to ageing parents, supportive of a spouse in a busy professional role, all whilst managing the business of being in business, which at times occurs before sun up, and after sundown.

Or business owner #2, who is pushing themselves physically to the point of exhaustion, and isn’t seeing the signs their body is throwing up, saying “stop”. I’m fearful for this person, that it won’t be a bump in the road that will bring them unstuck, but something catastrophic.

And then there’s business owner #3, who insists on working long hours, doesn’t eat properly, thinks energy drinks are a replacement for water, and seems to lurch from one drama to the next, without slowing down, to stop and consider, why is life always such a drama.

Slow down. Stop even. Listen to your body, and what its saying, or doing.

I can tell you from the events of 18 years ago, that when the day finally comes, you don’t just fall in a heap. You end up being physically and mentally ill, for a long period of time. It can take years to recover, and get yourself back to where you need to be, let alone want to be.

This Week’s Tip

“In your 20’s and 30’s you think you’re invincible.
In your 40’s, you find out that you’re not.”