Edition 501 – The Enormous Weight

It’s the middle of the night. You reach a certain age, where a bathroom break, in the dark is required. Perhaps that’s too much information?

Back in bed, you’re more awake than you’d like to be. The brain starts ticking over. The day before, and how it played out. The day ahead, and what’s on the agenda. However, that’s just the prelude. It’s the opening monologue.

A job didn’t go to plan, and it looks like it might cost a bit to rectify things. It might also impact the relationship long term, as you replay the client conversation you had, back in your head. You start to overthink, as you unknowingly place your hands behind your head, just as you do when you’re pondering, sitting in your chair, back in the office. Except it’s pre-dawn, and you’re laying in bed, staring at the ceiling.

An employee isn’t performing, and things are running so tight in terms of capacity, that you don’t know whether to persevere, and put up with the sub-par effort, or move them on, and take just that little bit more on yourself, to get over the hump. Emotion and logic rise to the surface, in equal measure.

Cash is getting a little tight, as you head towards the Christmas shutdown. You’re owed a bit, but you also owe others, so there’s some mental arithmetic, in the middle of the night darkness, as you figure out, who to chase, who to pay, and whether you might need to top up the financial tank, somehow, before summer truly beckons.

There’s some bumpiness on the home front too. An adult child, who seems to be stagnating in life, and not making decisions about their future. It’s like they’re stuck at an intersection, where the light won’t turn from red to green. Then there’s the younger child, struggling with school. It might be the environment itself, or the subjects they’re learning. However, there’s a perceptible distance that has arisen in their relationship with you, that for the moment, you can’t seem to bridge.

Eventually, an hour goes by. You’ve tossed and turned and ultimately, decide it’s best to get out of bed, put the kettle on, and stop disturbing the sleep your partner beside you should be enjoying. The brain is well and truly active now, as you check the news to see what’s happened overnight, or most likely, check your emails on your phone, to see who’s wanting something, or who’s complaining, or who has changed their mind.

The weight of being the owner of your own family business is heavy. Incredibly so. So many others rely on you, to simply turn up each day, put your stage face on, and make happen, what you’ve always made happen. Some days, you have to apply more makeup to that same stage face, to hide the worry, or sometimes the pain, that you’re experiencing. Most don’t notice. A small few do.

Eventually the sun comes up. The kettle goes on for that second cup of tea. It’s time to put one foot in front of the other and see if you can have a win or two today. So, you pack up the enormous weight, throw it back in its box, and push it to the back of your mind. Let’s see what the day brings.

This Week’s Tip

“Having people in your corner, who you confide in, is not only critical to your success, but to your wellbeing.”