Edition 491 – Blinkers

Are we tougher on family members that work inside of our family businesses, than we are with other, unrelated staff?

Do we set higher expectations of family employed in the business, than we expect of their co-workers that we’re not related to?

Are we less forgiving of mistakes made by employed family members, than we would be of our other employees?

Recently, when meeting with one of our family business clients, a story rose to the surface, of a near to adult child employed in the business. I’ve met said Junior. I’ve observed him in action. At not quite voting age, I’d rate him very highly in terms of his effort, his commitment to his role, along with his ability to communicate with someone almost 40 years older than him.

Junior, one morning, injured himself in the workplace. Nothing dramatic, but enough to be a concern. It highlighted a weakness in a business process, that can be rectified.

It also highlighted, from the outside looking in, potential fatigue on the part of Junior. The hours were early, and the sun had not yet risen, and perhaps, just perhaps, he’d not rested that well that week and, as such, was somewhat exposed in the event that something went awry.

For most employers, if an incident occurs with a staff member on site, we stop, investigate, triage the issue and then determine the next course of events. Counselling them, as to what went wrong, and potentially contributed to the issue, is probably not the done thing, in that moment.

Yet, when it’s an employed family member that this occurs with, we react differently. We default to parent-child mode. We respond, possibly, with the words and the actions of having experienced some minor occurrence, hundreds of times in the past in a family situation, and thinking that, maybe this time, as in others in the past, there’s been an overreaction.

Except, in this case, it wasn’t. It was a genuine issue that generated genuine emotion.

The next time there’s raised voices between you and an employed family member, give consideration to the following:

1. Have I just done, or said, or both, what my own mother or father did to me, in that exact some position, many years ago?
2. Did I deal with that situation with my own child, in the same way I would if the individual was an unrelated employee?
3. What would my spouse say, about my actions, and whether I was out of order?
4. What would someone, whom I trust to give me an honest answer (and not necessarily an answer I’m wanting to hear) say, about how that situation played out, and whether or not I could have handled it better?

When families in businesses work well together, they’re almost unstoppable. Love knows no bounds. We’re all rowing at the same pace, in the same direction, towards the same finish line.

Conversely, when families don’t work well together in business, it can be anywhere on the spectrum from “disappointing” to “unmitigated disaster” to “relationship ending”.

Which one best represents you and your family business?

This Week’s Tip

“Beware of your blinkers, and be honest enough with yourself, to seek advice from others you trust,
about your actions and behaviours.”