Edition 434 – Common Courtesy
I’m at an event and spot someone in the distance. I offer a wave, and one is returned. We make our way through the crowd, occasionally interrupted on our journey, to say hello to some others. Eventually, we meet up with the individual in question, and, being the first time they’ve met each other, I introduce my wife. A brief hello from them, is then met with a 180 degree pivot – the turning of the back.
In a different scenario, I’ve dealt with someone for a number of years. I need information from them, to help their employer, the business owner I’ve had an even longer relationship with. Emails are ignored, until such time as something is required by them, of me. Eventually, the ghosting gets to a point where it’s difficult to actually do what needs to be done, to help this business owner, in their business.
A big project is completed for a client. It’s been a tumultuous and emotional experience, extracting them from what could have been a very costly result, had it gone the other way. The issue had been ongoing for years, until such time as I was dragged into the mix. After less than three months, what I do for them, solves the problem and kills dead any potential for a large cost to be borne by the business. Once it’s done, what’s notable to me, is the complete and utter lack of a simple “thank you”.
What’s happened to simple manners? Why does someone deliberately turn their back in a social situation, rather than engage in small talk?
Why can’t two simple, yet powerful words, leave the lips of a business owner, when your efforts have eliminated a years long contingent liability, completely off the balance sheet?
What is it about people who sense there’s an entitlement to conduct themselves poorly, be it in public or private settings? Have they merely forgotten the manners they were raised with? Or, did that part of the home based life education curriculum, never take place?
In recent times, I’ve called this behaviour out by simply walking away from the relationship. I’m not going to correct people when clearly, there’s a values misalignment. I’ve reached the point in life where, if your attitude is poor, I don’t want you in my life. There’s plenty of better people, in this world, who show more respect and kindness, than persevering with individuals who clearly lack basic skills.
This Week’s Tip
“Please” and “thank-you” are simple words, or terms. Yet, their use, or lack thereof,
is at the forefront of civility in modern relationships and communication.”